Michael Lebeau and Leslie Cameron-Bandler
Real People Press, Moab, Utah 1986
Edited by Deepak 2006
Emotions are distinct from the global classifications
of ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Knowing that you feel bad gives
you almost no useful information about what is going
on to make you feel that way or what to do to change
Most of us assume that we have no choice about how
we feel. Emotion is something that happens to us as
a response to whatever is going on at the time. Most
people never think to choose their emotions. (They’ve
never been told that you can. And they particularly
never been told how you can. Deepak)
Emotions are not the same as the judgments we make
about them and neither are they the same as the behaviors
they help generate. Many people have only a few experiences
coded as emotions: fear, love, hate, joy, happiness,
and sadness. The rest are merely descriptive words.
But such things as responsibility, purposefulness,
ambition, capability, confusion, frustration, pride,
security, and affection are not only behaviors, but
emotions as well. At times, you feel responsible,
you feel ambitious, and so on. Running your experiences
through just a few all-purpose emotions is like the
difference between black and white television or color.
Or the difference between using only eight keys on a
piano instead of all eighty-eight.
What we are doing and what we are feeling may be
quite different. You might consider yourself a good
socializer because you do fine at making conversation,
but inside you are feeling bored or intimidated. You
may be acting sullen, but you are feeling hurt
because someone insulted you. A child may be acting
out drawing attention to himself when really he is feeling
How you act and how you feel may be the same, but
the two are distinct and may be quite different at any
given moment. It is worth remembering this because
the tendency is to assume that we know what is going
on inside other people simply by watching their behavior.
An emotion is an overall feeling response at
a moment in time. In the ‘Language of the Heart’,
Dr. James Lynch talks about how many patients are either
totally unaware of their feelings or can only describe
them in rational, dissociated, non-feeling terms. He
calls them ‘alexithymic’. They cannot
distinguish among different kinds of feelings. They
are ‘blind’ to their emotions and have no way of
understanding their blindness. They can use the words
for emotions, but they have no idea how these emotions
feel. Unable to describe their own feelings, they
also lose the capacity to discriminate between bodily
correlates of various feelings. An intense surge
of blood pressure could just as easily be a storm of
hatred or a tidal wave of love.
Dr. Lynch usually asks, ‘How are you feeling?” at the
beginning of every session as is patient is attached
to machines monitoring blood pressure, heart rate, etc.
They answer ‘I think I am OK’ at the same moment their
blood pressure or heart rate increases 25 to 50%.
How is feeling frustrated different from
feeling disappointed? When people are frustrated,
they still are trying to get what they want even though
they don’t know how to get it. Disappointment is useful
to let go of what you want, accept it, and move on to
wanting something you can get.
Frustration keeps you striving. Until you think there
is nothing more you can do, it is ok to feel frustrated.
That is, if it is worth feeling frustration about. Is
it worth it? If it is, then you need also the emotions
of patience and determination to see it through to the
The worth of an emotion cannot be measured by how pleasant
it is to experience, but only by the outcome it is intended
to serve. No matter how unpleasant an emotion seems
to be, it is actually worth having as a signal.
What that signal is about – what that emotion is trying
to tell you- we call the ‘functional attribute’
of the emotion.
The first step in utilizing your emotions is to recognize
what they are signaling you about. The second step is
to respond to the message.
Regret is a signal pointing out what
you could have done or should have done differently
in some past situation. That feeling is letting you
know you made a mistake. Through recognizing your mistakes,
there is the possibility of not repeating them in the
Guilt is a signal that you have violated
a personal standard, your own value, and that you need
to make sure not to do it again in the future. It is
useful to keep what you do in line with what you value
Anxiety is a signal that lets you know
there is something in your future which you need to
prepare for. It is a signal that you either need to
make better preparation or is something to avoid altogether.
Overwhelmed is a feeling resulting from
attempting to achieve too many outcomes or too imposing
than can be done in the time you have available. It
is a signal that you need to re-evaluated your priorities
about what is necessary and what is not and in what
No feeling overwhelmed and you waste your time on trivial
things that have no priority.
Jealousy is a signal that your emotional
well-being is in jeopardy and you need to do something.
If you ignore this feeling, you may lose your relationship.
No jealousy and relationships are interchangeable and
Anger is a signal that your well-being
is threatened or abused and you need to something to
stop it now or prevent it in the future. It is a notice
to you that someone has done something to harm you.
If you did not get the message, you might be harmed
again in the future. Maybe those who harmed you would
not become aware of the pain they have caused and so
have no opportunity to make amends. No anger, you become
Bored / Restless is a signal that you
are paying attention to what is not going on now in
Too often, however, emotions are felt and expressed,
but not responded to. There is little point in regretting
something unless that helps you change your future behavior.
The ‘functional attribute’ of an unpleasant emotion,
the message it is trying to deliver, specifies what
you need to do to respond to the emotion.
Unpleasant emotions are worth having if they are used
well. If fact, if you could not have these emotions,
you would be at a great disadvantage.
True Emotional Choice
Placement, Expression, Employment,
Placement: This is when you are using
the most appropriate emotion for each context in your
life. Feeling disappointment instead of frustration
once you have done everything you can and it is time
to give up, let go, and move on.
Bad Placement is responding with an emotion other
than what we need or like in that situation. What emotion
you need to have depends upon what you would like to
get out of that particular situation.
Expression: Good to express an emotion
congruent with your concept of self and with the outcome
you desire. Expressing hurt by withdrawal and silence
is not good expression. It is incongruent.
Employment: The ability to utilize unpleasant
emotional states to generate useful behaviors.
The first step is to be able to identify the emotion
and what its signal is. Once you meet the need of that
emotion, it can be used to change your feelings in better
ways. Rather than needing to get rid of unpleasant
feelings, you have the choice of respecting them as
signals and then using those feelings to take you to
useful next steps. Example, like using fear of losing
your job to work harder to keep your job.
Anxiety is an emotion so dreaded that
many people spend much time feeling anxious about the
next time they are going to feel anxious. It feels like
an inescapable trap tightening its grip with each effort
on your part to struggle free. Anxiety is a signal that
there is something in your future for which you need
to better prepare. It could be just gathering more information
to fill in an incomplete picture of who-what-when-why-where.
It could be a signal that she is thinking of only possibility
of the future event, that it will be unpleasant.
Once you identify what you want to have happen
and what you need to do, then you can use your past
to tell you that you are capable of doing each step
and visualize a positive outcome. If the anxiety persist,
you need to assess the actual risk involved: your life?
Your health? Money? Your reputation? A few hours of
unpleasantness? Anything of real importance?
You know the anxiety is gone when you feel informed,
resigned, and accepting of nominal risks.
Prevention Some emotions are so immobilizing
and dreadful and overwhelmingly harsh that they are
worth avoiding and preventing. If you panic on the dance
floor, then either never go to the dance floor or learn
how to dance very well.
Where do emotions come from? Thin air? We think
they are caused by external circumstances. We give them
reasons. It seems that the situation dictates our emotions,
but it is what is going on inside of you in relation
to those circumstances. Emotions have components just
like guests coming and going at a party.
Each emotion has Components
that are the same for everyone everywhere. There
is a cultural uniformity. Example, think about the difference
between Hope and Anticipation. Remember
a small unpleasant experience and Hope that will not
happen again. Now think about the same unpleasant experience
and Anticipate that will never happen again. What is
Hope has components of being passive and
uncertain. It is not for sure. Passively waiting.
There is more than one outcome. You imagine both what
is being hoped for and what is hoped for will never
happen. You don’t know what the future brings and it
leaves you unsure about what to do in relation to the
future. If you hope for ‘peace’, it leaves you unsure
whether to work for peace or prepare for war.
Anticipation is for sure and you feel more
engaged for involved. Actively moving toward. You imagine
only one possibility or outcome, what you want or don’t
want will happen. The subjective response to
anticipation is that something in the future is ‘for
sure’. This emotion orients you toward preparing for
of something that you are currently Anticipating
will happen. Get that image in mind and at the same
time imagine that it will not happen. Now do
the same with Hope. Eliminate all the possibilities
but one and see what happens. Hope and Anticipate have
different components that result in very different behaviors.
You are not going to clean your room by ‘hoping’ for
Exercise. Frustration and
Disappointment. Think of something Disappointing
and again want what you originally wanted and pretend
that you can still have it. Does that change your emotion?
Now think of something you feel Frustrated about and
pretend now that it is not possible and never will be
possible to get what you wanted. Does that change the
Frustration and Disappointment are both emotions
about not getting what you want. Which one happens is
according to the possibility in the future of it happening
or not. In Frustration you still want it and continue
to try to do something about it. In Disappointment,
you let go of the possibility that it will ever happen.
With Disappointment, something is ‘over’ and
you disengage. Frustration is what keeps you
1. Knowing structure of emotions leads to appropriateness.
You have access to a wider range
to more feelings and put the right feeling in the right
2. Knowing structure makes it possible to change your
emotions instead of ‘being trapped’ in the
feeling. You will be able to change from one emotion
3. Knowing structure makes all emotions available to
you. All emotions are useful. If you can do
Disappointment, but not Frustration,
then you are chronically giving up and walking away
from what you want every time.
Components of Emotion
(1) - Time Frame – Past, Present & Future.
Almost all emotions involve Past, Present and Future.
You cannot feel Anxiety when you think of the Past and
you cannot feel Disappointment when you think of the
Future. Usually you are just fine in the Present. This
is why spiritual teachers say ‘Be-Here-Now’.
You can shift from Regret to Hope by shifting
from the past to something that could happen or something
you could do in the future. You can shift from Bored/Restless
by shifting from what is not going on in the present
to looking forward to something pleasant that is going
to happen in the not-too-distant future. You can turn
Frustration into Patience by shifting Time Frame
from the Present to another time farther into the Future.
(2) - Modality – Necessary, Possible,
Responsibility is an emotion of Necessity
that something needs to be done and it needs
to be done by me. Once you accept that it needs
to be done and done by you, you quit questioning whether
or not you can do it and you shift to how
you can do it. ‘I Must’ is presupposed.
That it needs to be done is part of Necessity.
That it can be done by you is part of Possibility.
If you believe you can not, then you move to
a feeling of Inadequacy or Despair.
LANGUAGE & EMOTIONS
Able, Adequate, Confident,
Might Have Been /
Could Have Been
Can’t Be Done
Stubborn, Anger, Hurt,
To ‘be’ Responsible, it is best to ‘feel’
Responsible. To feel responsible, you or the other person
has to know: (1) It ‘needs’ to be done; (2) It needs
to be done by ‘me’; and (3) You ‘can’ do it. It is important
to know the reasons ‘it’ needs to be done and those
reasons must be acceptable or worthy. Feelings based
on these three components are those of determination
and being-in-control. Without these three components,
you create feelings of resistance or inadequacy
(3) INVOLVEMENT - Active
or Passive / Going toward or Away
Active is a feeling not a behavior. It is a feeling
that you are directly and instrumentally involved. Active
is a feeling that there are things for you to do.
There is a sense of purpose and personal ability to
influence what is going on (or at least how you feel
about it). Ambition is always Active and Active
is always Ambitious in some way. Ambition has the components
of ‘Future’ and ‘I Can’. Active is the component in
Affection, Fear, Disgust, Frustration, Determination,
Curiosity, Ambition, and Frustration. It is needing
to do something to fulfill some purpose.
Determination – get something done / Going
Ambition - to rise to a certain level
/ Going Toward
Curiosity – to figure something out / Going
Frustrated – to make something turn out
the way you want it to / Going Toward
Aggressive / Affectionate / Friendly –
Passive is feeling that there is nothing you can do,
that there are forces moving around ‘out there’ that
will or will not grant you your wishes. There is a sense
of waiting and feeling Passive is part of the feelings
of Hope or Victim or Acceptance.
You are more likely to be passive if you have no outcome
in mind. Passive feelings: Hope, Apathy, Complacence,
Satisfaction, Loneliness, Calm.
Complacence, Satisfaction, Apathy – Outcomes
have been met or do not exist and you do not feel like
you have to do anything. Feeling Lonely involves
wanting to be with people, but feeling unable to do
anything about it.
Boredom, Annoyance, Loneliness, Self-Pity
– Passive / Away From
Hope, Patience – Passive / Moving toward
|(4) INTENSITY –
more images, enhanced detail, increased depth
of colors, more sounds, more loudness of sounds,
increase in intensity of physical movements, increase
in intensity of sensations, intensity of internal
Structurally Similar Emotions According
Base Level More Intensity And More More
& More Most Intensity
You can also decrease intensity and go down from Rage
to Angry to Irritated, etc.
|(5) COMPARISON -
Comparison to others can cause you pain.
Instead of using the Comparison of “Others are
better”, you can use the comparison “How have
I improved?”. Comparison is a process of Matching.
Matching is noticing the ways in which
what you want has been Fulfilled. Mismatching
is noticing you didn’t get what you want.Matching
has to do with degree of more or less of
Matching is an important component in: Agreeable,
Mismatching is strong in feelings of:
Disagreeable, Frustrated, Contemptuous, Disappointed.
Also Mismatching is found in: Humorous,
Comparison underlies feelings of: Smug, Contemptuous,
Envious, Arrogance, Weird, Progress, Stuck, Successful,
Loser, Graceful, Pretty, Inadequate, Pride, Confidence,
- Moving quickly, slowly, steadily, erratically. Tempo
is rhythm and speed.
Fast Tempo is in emotions of: Excited, Panicky,
Restless, Impatient, Anxious, Angry.
Slow Tempo: Bored, Lonely, Apathetic, Discouraged,
Patient, Accepting, Satisfied
Fast/Uneven Tempo: Anxious, Nervous
Slow/Even Tempo: Calm
Patience. It is impossible to feel patient and
experience a fast tempo at the same time (try it). When
people are feeling impatient, it is well known to slow
down and take a deep breath and let it out slowly. When
we are so impatient that we get excited and speed around,
we miss much of what is around us and allow no time
for input. Patience and Impatience both have to do with
the Future. The difference is slow or fast tempo. Patience
has a longer time frame and the outcome tends to be
further in the future. You can experiment with this
by thinking of something about which you are Patient
and speeding up the tempo. Feel how it changes.
If you speed up the tempo of Discouragement,
it turns into Frustration, which can be more
useful if you want to keep going and keep trying. A
coach can use it as a pep talk with a losing team. If
you are feeling Anxious and you slow down the
tempo, the feeling will turn into Dread.
Speed up the tempo of Bored and it goes to Restless.
Not useful if you are standing in a line that does not
move or you are stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Better
to be Bored. The usefulness of an emotion depends on
the situation you are in. In this case, maybe it would
be better to change the emotion by changing Time Frame.
EVEN / SMOOTH
UNEVEN / ERRATIC
Anxious Nervous Panicky
Restless Angry Excited
Calm Patient Accepting
– Emotions always occur within a particular context
or situation. When the
situation changes, your
emotions do too. Criteria are the standards that
you are applying in
a certain situation.
Some emotions are better in some situations than
in others. How useful and appropriate an emotion
is depends on the situation and what you want. True
emotional choice is manifested when you are able to
recognize which emotion works best in a situation and
be able to respond to it in that way instead of old,
blind habit of reaction that never got you wanted in
the first place.
Being frustrated and challenged when faced with
a test for a class where you are a little out of your
depth. They keep you going, keep you trying. Feeling
defeated or inadequate not useful.
Example: You have to give a presentation
to your boss and you want it to be perfect and
you get nervous. The boss says he can’t come and there
are only your fellow colleagues and all you have to
do is be good. Then there is confidence instead
of nervousness. Changing the Criteria will change the
emotion as well as changing any other component. All
components interact simultaneously with each other to
create the emotion.
Example: A man finds out his wife is going
to have a baby. It is future Time Frame with
a Modality of Necessity (It will happen), a Passive
sense of Involvement, and a high level of
Intensity. You still don’t know how he is going to feel
until you know his Criteria. Does he feel that he is
gaining something (family) or losing something
Patience : is a good emotion to keep
you going toward long term goal. It gives you time to
evaluate and reevaluate your actions and results. Best
emotion when desired outcome will take time or when
you cannot impose your own time table and do things
when you want to do them (traffic jam, waiting in line,
teaching others, etc.)
It is not the best emotion to use to get
out of a burning building. It is not appropriate
to feel patience when you have to take immediate action
or suffer imminent negative consequences (get out of
the way of a truck). It is not the best emotion
to use when you are being taken advantage of or being
Calm: is most useful to feel when there
is nothing you have to do. Examples are
going to bed to sleep, relaxing or meditating, or going
on vacation. It will enhance those experiences.
It is not appropriate when you have to respond
to something immediately or be alert.
Determination: is useful to making a
sustained effort against obstacles to accomplish a goal.
It has a narrow focus of attention that is responsible
for its effectiveness. It comes with a set of blinders
that keep you focused on your goal and ignores everything
else unrelated to that goal.
Being focused on business only means you may fail
to notice that your family relationships or personal
health is deteriorating. Determination is also a poor
choice if your goals are not worthwhile or not achievable.
It is a good choice to get out of Resignation.
Encouraged: is what you feel when you
perceive you are making progress toward a goal. It is
useful when you are striving toward a goal that will
be difficult or a long time coming. Losing one pound
on your way to losing ten pounds of weight should be
encouraging. The long term goal is sustained one small
step at a time. It is a better choice than Satisfaction
to keep you going because Satisfaction brings striving
to a halt.
Feeling Encouraged is not appropriate if evidence
of success is not coming or is misinter-
preted and it keeps you going toward a goal that is
not worthwhile. Feeling Encouraged by feeling good after
that first drink of alcohol to have another drink and
another has bad results.
Resignation: is useful when you must
set aside something you want in order to attain an outcome
that has a higher priority. You may have to take the
time to write a paper to get a good grade when you would
rather be watching tv. Feeling Resigned does not mean
giving up what you want, but merely setting it aside
in favor of something more important. It is the best
emotion to feel about things that are either short term
or in transition.
It is not useful to feel Resigned in situations
that are ongoing and continuous. That leads to pent-up
anger and dissatisfaction. Resignation should serve
as a temporary bridge to either Determination
Acceptance: is a useful emotion about
things you cannot change or it would not be worth what
you would have to go through in order to even try. The
goal is impossible and the costs are too high and so
it is best to disengage. You cannot change that you
are born blond or black or 5’2” or there is imperfection,
unhappiness and suffering in the world. Unlike Disappointment,
ance is ongoing and allows you to live comfortably
with your circumstance.
Acceptance can be misused to give up on a goal
that is attainable and worthwhile. It is not useful
to accept a low paying, unsatisfying job when there
Frustration: is useful to maintain the
importance of some goal you have and you are still
trying, trying despite setbacks, obstacles, and
difficulties. It is Active, motivating you to do
something. Frustration is useful to re-engage or remain
engaged in striving toward some desire or goal.
Frustration serves best as a temporary bridge to more
effective emotions of curiosity or patience or determination.
Frustration is not useful in trying to change
things which cannot be changed. Or situations in which
you do not have the skills or resources to make that
Disappointment: lets you know that you
did not get want you wanted. You did not get your hope
and you did not get your desire. It is useful to know
when it is time to let go, to let go of pursuit
and to let go of waiting for others to do it for you.
It is the recognition that something is over. It is
too late or not going to happen. Disappointment helps
you to let go and disengage. It is useful to tell you
to move on to something else. It is Passive. There is
nothing more you can do.
It is hard to know sometimes when it is over,
it is over, it is over. There is always the possibility
of ‘if this…’ or ‘if that…’ that gives you frustration
mixed with disappointment.
Disappointment is not appropriate when it keeps you
stuck in an unpleasant and useless way. It is inappropriate
to let go too soon when you could have gotten what you
wanted with a little more time or patience or determination.
Caution: is the appropriate emotion
to have when you are in a dangerous situation. It is
useful to minimize risk. It is useful to prevent provoking
Feeling cautious is not useful when you are in a familiar
situation and there is not danger. It occupies a lot
of consciousness with calculations about how to avoid
or respond to possible dangers. Caution increases alertness
to the outside, but dulls enjoyment/sensation inside.
Suspicion: is useful when you are with
people who can harm you, know they can harm you, and
yet are treating you as though nothing is wrong. Difference
between Suspicion and Skeptical is one of Intensity.
Suspicion is more protective than Skeptical because
potential for harm is more.
To be Suspicious is to remain at arm’s length and to
search for confirming evidence of deception.
Suspicion is inappropriate if there is no mismatch
between the other person’s past and present behavior.
If there is no danger of harm and no evidence of mismatch,
being Suspicious will create confusion, resentment,
and anger in others.
|(8) CHUNK SIZE –
One little step at a time or the whole, enormous
overwhelming picture. It is how much you are attending
to in your experience. Chunking Down means attending
to smaller and smaller details. Chunking Up takes
you to a broader, bigger picture. Chunking too
big makes you feel inadequate. Chunking
smaller makes you feel capable.
Big Huge /Vast
Buy the Seeds
Betrayed by Wife
Filled Out Loan Papers
Plant the Garden
Betrayed by Friends
Did Your Best
Did Your Best
Found A Shop
Got What You Wanted
Started A Business
Hate the World
EXAMPLES OF CHAINING EMOTIONS
LETHARGIC V. CURIOUSITY
Lethargic: Tempo is slow. Senses are
dulled. Responses slacken like swimming in peanut butter.
Sounds are slowed, muffled, and dulled. Body feels heavy.
Attention wanders. Typically, people feel lethargic
about some present task rather than past activity or
future endeavor. This is a way of removal from the present.
Don’t want to be here. You are passive in the present.
You are not getting much done but you are wishing it
would somehow get done.
Most people wait until their mood changes or you
force yourself (willpower) to get on with it while still
feeling lethargic. Now the mood includes resentment
Curious: Emotion people feel when they
are facing a puzzle/question to which they want an answer.
Tempo is quicker. Body feels lighter. Senses are sharper
and more alert. Attention is focused. Internal dialogue
is filled with questions and speculative answers (Where
is it? What is it? What is going to happen? Will this
do it?). You are actively involved.
You are open to input, input in the form of ideas,
opinions from others, or perceptual stimuli. This openness
is result of criteria of what is important or personal
significance. It has the power to propel us to take
action. It is an excellent emotion to initiate behavior
because it easily evolves into motivation and determination.
It changes from something you want to know (modality
of possibility) to something you must know (modality
Increase the Tempo while feeling Curious and the
feeling shifts to Restless or Impatient.
The components of Modality, Involvement & Tempo
are most important for both Curiosity and Lethargy.
Curious, Skeptical and Suspicious are all open
to input. Curious is the most open. Skeptical searches
for the flaw in what is. Suspicious is based upon belief
that there is foul play or deception to be identified
and is only open to what confirms that belief.
COMPONENTS OF EMOTION
Past – Present – Future
Past or Present or Future
Necessary, Possible, Desirable
I should, I need to…
But I don’t want to
I want to know
I can know
Active or Passive / Going Toward or Away
More images, more
detail, more depth of color,
More sounds, more
loudness of sounds, in-
crease in sensations
and physical movements,
increase in intensity
of internal dialogue
Dull senses / Dull Taste
Sounds are slow/muffled
Body feels heavy
Movements are slow
Senses are sharper
Sounds are good & loud
Body feels light
Movements are alert
Others or Self; Matching or
Mismatching, Degree of Difference
Mismatch between what you
Need to do/want to do
Something you are capable
Large degree of difference
Fast / Slow ; Even/Smooth- Uneven/Erratic
Context / Situation / Standards / Values
Situation/Context not good
Standards/values not met
Fits your values
Small – Bigger – Biggest – Vast/Huge
Usually bigger biggest vast
Any size possible
OVERWHELMED V. MOTIVATED
Overwhelmed: You are keeping in mind
at the same time all of the things you have to
There is a sense of urgency about getting it
all done. The Modality is one of Necessity: “Have
to” or “need to” or “must” to prevent negative consequences.
You hold your breath and there is more tension in the
body. Internal dialogue is full of incomplete questions
as attention flits from one of the many necessary task
to another. The primary characteristic is simultaneously
keeping in mind all the things that must
be done. The tasks are kept as a mob all demanding attention.
There is no priority and no sequence and no demand is
willing to be put to the side temporarily.
There is more to be done than the perceived time allows.
Comparison is one of possible failure. Feeling can turn
into feelings of being immobilized or hopeless.
Motivated: Primary characteristic is
feeling attraction. Modality of Desire is ‘I Want’.
Modality of Possibility is ‘I Can Get It’. Tempo is
not as frenetic/uneven, but may be fast and strong.
Time Frame is in the Future either near at hand or far
down the road. There is Comparison between what you
have and what you can get. Comparison to being better
off in the future than the present. Criteria could be
standards of helping others or enriching yourself or
it could be values of doing something practical or something
OTHER PAIRS OF EMOTIONS
Inadequate to Adequate
Overwhelmed to Responsibly Creative
Anxious to Capable
Disappointment to Frustration
Disappointment to Acceptance
Depressed to Encouraged
Hopeful to Responsible
Bored to Pleasurable Anticipation
Grief to Acceptance
Satisfied to Thrilled
Generative Chain / Successive Approximation
Vulnerable ………….Anxious ………….Fearful ……… Panic …………..
Irritated ……………..Impatient ……… Frustration ……Anger
Skeptical ……………Suspicious ……… Jealous ……… Hurt ……………
Needy ………………Rejected ………….Hurt ………… Inadequate ……..
Depression ………….Sad……………….Serious ……… Curious ………..
Overwhelmed ………Anxious ………….Curious ……… Self Respect
Regret……………….Respect …………..Curious……… Reassured………Confident
Frustration ………….Curiosity …………Adequate …… Confidence
Anxiety ……………..Curiosity …………Adequate…… Confidence
Stuck ………………. Curiosity …………Risk/Interested/Let Go